transitions abound. two weeks from today will be my last day of work at crema cafe, and will commence a whirlwind week of packing, moving out, graduations, family visits, and at the culmination, a major road trip. In something between appropriate and cliche, I (we) will be embarking on a drive across this country. Sheltered for years among the suits and ties of the intellectual elite of the North east, and occasional visits to the western counterpart (the bathing suits and hedonism of california) it feels compelling, and maybe even urgent to explore a little more. Consistent with the feeling that i’ve learned more on the streets of New York than in the seats of my classrooms, this is the final seminar: six weeks in the deep south, great northern plains, and most everywhere in between.

its such a priviledge to have the time and money to go like this…and with gratitude and excitement, i say: onward!

Lessons of life crawl out of the corners of my room and down from the tops of the trains i ride, to sit by my side, tap me on the shoulder, or patiently await my consideration. Lost in the shuffle of a to-and-from lifestyle, only rare moments find me actually paying these lessons any attention. But! I have learned some, i’d say.

Lesson 1. Having a job is good for self-esteem. Even in a menial position where serving coffee is your most important task, knowing that you are capable of doing so, of showing up, of learning new things, making the right moves more often than the wrong ones– these are the elements of purpose that, when lacking, lead the mind into self-doubt, self-critique, and self-consciousness. When preoccupied with the burdens and annoyances of my job, I try to remember that without it, I would be in serious trouble. This is dynamite knowledge for the future.

More lessons to come, let the blog writing finnagain-beginagain!

A thought I’ve come to regarding cynicism: in measured doses it keeps you aware, but it is overall unproductive. As a sentiment, it only sets you up for a lifetime of dissatisfaction. Which is understandable in the sense that the world is a place full of problems and reasons to be dissatisfied. But what does one life mean if only spent with negative things to say and think and feel about how things are?

Its a hard balance to achieve, and something that has been deeply troubling me this week. For the moment though, I want to be altogether thrilled and excited about Obama’s win– and I am because how could one not be? It is the most amazing feeling to know that this catastrophe of an administration was brought down with such a sea-change election and different mentality replacing it. And I do have hope. And we will see.

But more important than whether Obama is going to be the perfect president or not, is what is being created as a result of his election. A new seed of trust is being planted all around the world; no longer the bully country led by a cowboy, USA will cease to be a label of stigma for the traveler, and our presence does not have to symbolize “unilateral aggresor” everywhere our diplomats go.

And there is something else that’s happening. Empowerment is happening. Every where I go, when ideas and thoughts and hopes come to me about how to fix this, help that, try this…they are not dismissed as meaningless attempts at fixing an unfixable problem. Instead, in my mind and in others, they are welcomed as steps in the right direction. It has felt until this past Tuesday that any small scale effort was just that: small scale and with limited reach and purpose, fighting against a system that didn’t want me or my ideas in it.

But somehow, with all that dancing in the streets after the election, with a giddiness among the young and old alike, a renewed commitment to bringing ourselves back to the country we want to be is spreading like wildfire.  And soon, the small pieces are going to mount into an all-hands-on-deck effort. This is a healing society, and we’ve only got ourselves to depend on.  Our incredible selves that said four years ago: damn who’s that senator from Illinois, and four days ago said: damn, Thats my president.

So, Its time to get going. Are you in?

Other updates…I have begun my job at Crema Cafe, where I work about 20 hours a week. I am so happily busy there, no time to consider the hours passing or the meaning(lessness?) of it all– it actually seems like I’ve really found a calling. I love talking with customers that come in, and like doing things like heating up quiche and making someone’s special iced tea with ginger lemonade. Its strangely satisfying, and I am really excited to have this job. Perhaps all those years of sociology training will become obsolete as I begin my real career in food service

Tomorrow I play my first game of soccer for the Eastern Mass Women’s League. I’m so excited to be back out on the field. Then next week I will coach my first game for my 7th & 8th grade team, do some real thesis work and hopefully begin interviews, and on thursday, I fly home to see my grandparents who will be in town for the weekend!

In other news, it has been an unjustifiably long time since I have given any serious thought or blog-time to the upcoming election. This has to do with my hesitance to engage with all the fanfare and commodification that has come along with it. Yes, I feel that the youth movement is in some ways legitimate and exciting, but I also fear that it is mostly a manifestation of a culture that is bored and un-stimulated by their education, their peers, and their career prospects.  From where I stand, it appears that this election season is riding on the fad syndrome, and like any advertising expert will tell you, this isn’t a sustainable method of engaging your audience. A generation raised on pokemon cards and tamagachis, we know well how to find stimulation and joy in simple commodities. We can relate to our peers by a shared understanding of these products, we can take refuge in their entertainment when the world seems to complex to actually participate in. And in some frightening ways, the Obama-Rama that has taken this nation by force, is filling the void that High School Musical and I-pods have left behind.

Some may call this cynical, but to that protest I ask of you: what does Obama stand for when it comes to the environment? Do you know the details of his foreign policy plans, particularly with regard to Iraq? Who is he hoping to appoint to his cabinet and what do these people, the ones who hold the true power of an administration, actually stand for? In general, these basic questions are greeted with blank stares. While Obama’s smiling face stares at me from the screened print of their hip, fitted tee-shirt, their own faces falter. This lack of rigorous investigation into the policies and plans of the man we all have come to know and love suggests a cult of personality faster than you can say Mussolini.

It is so easy to say this isn’t the point. The point, for so many, is that he is not John McCain, and not George Bush. The point for more still is that he is young, black, charismatic, and supposedly not into the whole political bullshit thing we all supposedly detest so much. But for however important these things are, I worry that this man has become a leader of blind believers, young people who see a rising wave in his promise for change, and ride it with their eyes closed and their hands tied.

As a student of social movements these days, I find nothing more stimulating than having a case study to analyze on a daily basis. Theories of collective identity jump out at me as I wander the streets noticing the identity building opportunities there are at Obama rallies, street fairs with Obama paraphernalia, voter registration drives and the like; young people are finding their niche in this fad. But I wonder what will happen on November 5th. I wonder after the fun and games and the race and the competition is over, when the controversial advertisements are off the air and the campaign tshirts are obsolete, where will the youth turn? Will it then be time to buckle down and study policies, scrutinize plans, learn about the cabinet and administration, and continue the fight in the direction of a better America by holding our hero accountable? Or will Disney, Mattel, Nike, or Starbucks quickly usher in their newest product, adeptly filling the void we feel by the abrupt end of the election season, allowing young people to smoothly disengage from all things political?  And worse still, will this happen if Obama doesn’t win and McCain takes office?

These are the concerns I’ve been mulling over, and the divided heart I am sitting with. I am excited about Obama, for the record. I want him to win, for all the reasons above. The fact that a black man is running for president is as fantastic as the fact that Sarah Palin might be our next VP is frightening.  The fact that Obama wants to avoid partisanship and lobbyists in politics, wants to use his experience as a community organizer, and wants to sustain a woman’s right to choose are wonderful. This writing is not intended to question his ability as a leader or suggest I will not be voting for him on November 4th. More so, it is intended to question the integrity and sustainability of this so-called youth movement, and challenge my generation into something more rigorous: to engage in the American political system on a level that demonstrates our intelligence and commitment to truth and justice and not our vulnerability to popular fads and commodities. The way to achieve the difference is simple: learn what it is you are fighting for, and know why its a fight worth fighting. Then we will be truly building a movement our generation is capable of carrying on for our lifetime.

“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, None but ourselves can free our mind”.

Ever since the image of working behind a counter serving coffee and making money to do so changed from fantasy to reality at 2:55 pm this afternoon, I’ve begun, if only vaguely, to doubt what I’m doing. This will be the first period of time in my life when I’m deviating from the path I set out on since childhood. That is, this will be the first major undertaking that i’m doing entirely for interest, and without some higher purpose in mind; working for the sake of a paycheck and my fill of bohemian culture in a hip cafe and thats all.

What’s wrong with that, you might ask? Sure, I’ve done my fair share of non-profit internships, activist club memberships, taken on a variety of leadership roles…my resume can attest to that. But the truth is, for however much I learned or benefited from these experiences, I am still lacking. Lacking a sense of achievement, success, and accomplishment of anything meaningful, significant, or important. And lacking a sense of direction that even vaguely hints at a set of defined goals in life. So, what’s wrong with this game plan is that the quest to nourish whats lacking has been derailed. And at this juncture, I’d like to pose some questions:

When does deviation from “the course” (however muddy and treacherous it might be) cross the line from simply a pause in the road to a misguided turn? How does one determine the absolute value of something that doesn’t cleary fall into the category of predetermined “valuable” activities? And perhaps most looming of all questions: is sticking to only the “yes” activities as, if not more, detrimental than this fearsome deviation?

Thoughts are welcome.

New beginnings. It’s been a week since I moved in. Behind me, the better part of the biggest room I have ever called my own sits in pleasant half emptiness. I don’t know how to fill all this space, as the few things i’ve held on to since leaving home for good don’t add up to the kind of clutter i’m used to. But as I said, new beginnings. I find myself in Somerville, MA, a city in the greater Boston area, living in a house of eleven. We share eleven bedrooms among eleven girls, and eleven loony stories of seeking and stumbling, and eleven new opportunities for sharing and learning. It’s been a fascinating week, and my sociological training is being put to good use.

Down the hall, Hannah’s door is open and it is still mystifying to come and go from her room and world without effort– our lives finally converged after years of hurried phone conversations or sleepless twenty four hour visits. There is something extraordinary in bridging the closeness of childhood into the adult (or semi-adult, or sometimes-adult) world that we’re now maneuvering our way through.

Speaking of adulthood, my endeavours while living here– writing my thesis and working– are in a semi-together stage at the moment. One job has been secured as a soccer coach for a middle school girls team. Though somewhat unexpected, this job seems perfect in many ways– nothing too demanding on my schedule or brain, and an opportunity to support myself without sitting indoors, behind a desk. I’m in the process of finding another job in a cafe or bookstore. One of many goals for the year is to avoid the office/professional track altogether.

My thesis, which in its current articulation is on The Role of Music on Building Identity in Social Movements, is still relatively untouched since the “research” I “worked on” in June. But meetings with my advisor last week proved fruitful, and i’m still optimistic about the project and where its going to take me.

So, these are the updates from 83. I am thriving in the newness, the exploring of new places to ponder and explore, new people to interact with and analyze, and the new challenges that inevitably come with all the change. This is sure to be something.

With the window shades down and Scott still asleep, i haven’t yet greeted today. Yesterday was blurry and smudged, after only a few hours sleep and delirious happiness and confusion at my return. The hours passed and the sun went down later, the trees are so different, and trader joe’s is..well…not the feria. But as of yet, imminent fears of culture shock have yet to descend.

Yes, landing in Miami I was so aware of the lights– broad daylight and the lights were burning on the outsides of buildings. Sure, the toilets flush with super power strength, and yes, I flushed my first piece of toiler paper down the toilet with a twinge of amusement (Costa Rican sewage systems require trashing all toilet paper).

Indeed, I am aware of the difference, the change, the excess and waste. Yes, my patience has already shortened, the necessary embracing of tranquilidad in tico time is fading at staggering speeds. But still in the cocoon of the late summer new england morning, without the lucidity of passed time and only just gaining full consciousness after a full nights sleep, I am not yet cringing and saddened at my distance.

Because in truth, though the insight and privilege of traveling is irreplaceable, though the tropical fruits, wet afternoons and smiling friends across an entire country will be sadly missed, though the sounds of spanish and frying plantains will fade, despite the loss,  there is this giddiness at the gain. And that is, a return to the feelings of home and love, the warmth of familiarity, and still, the beginning of a new adventure.  Boston, here I come.

We left Monteverde on what was supposed to be a jeep.boat.jeep tour across to Arenal Volcano. Our Jeep turned out to be one of the classic tourist vans that announce in blatent yellow “TURISMO” that inside the vehicle is a threatening pack of foreigners with cameras. Anyhow, we took the van to lake arenal where we took a fantastic boat ride across the lake towards the volcano and the oppresively touristy town of La Fortuna. While there we enjoyed some exorbitant (one might even say obscene) hot springs complete with ten dollar drinks and a remake of the mayan pyramids. We also did a grueling morning hike to one of the most amazing waterfalls i’ve ever seen. Pictures to follow.

Then we took a sticky and sweaty four hour bus ride to San Jose. The first hour there were no seats and the sweat factor was increased by the persistent stares of a young tico boy. Leah and I both grabbed seats just as soon as they became available, but soon discovered our neighbors behind us were ceaslessly chattering kids with dirty hands that they insisted on pushing through the cracks and threatening us with.

Anyhow after a peaceful night in San Jose, we arrived the next afternoon in Puerto Viejo where we are currently staying. The bus ride was infinitely better, and our accomodations are almost luxurious. It is incredibly beautiful here, and the food and culture make it seem almost like another country. We’ve been eating so many vegetarian delights, and spending enormous portions of the day horizontal on the beach. While others seem inclined to exercise, or exert efforts of other varieties, Leah and I have opted for the low impact type of vacation. In  other words, reclined. All day long.

To our credit, we managed 14 minutes of pilates yesterday morning. And running from malaria infested mosquitos works up quite a sweat. So, in reality, life here is very strenous. Another six days and I might even have developed a stress fracture or something. Hopefully not though, and at this time next week i’ll be flying back to Boston! Until then, take care everyone and much much love.

Monteverde has been very cool, if not a bit painful on the wallet. The town where we are staying is tourist central, which is a mixed bag of fun foreigners and obnoxious shoppers on the hunt for authentic souveniers. Monteverde attracts so many people because it is the home of the world famous cloud forests, essentially rainforests at high elevation that exist, appropriately, amongst the clouds. We’ve had a really cool perspective being up here, at about 1400 meters or 5,000 feet, watching the weather systems up close. Between another organic coffee farm tour this morning complete with sampling of sugar cane cut straight and fresh from the plant, and taking a tour in the cloudforest yesterday with a really great guide, Javier, we’ve certainly “done” this area. Though we haven’t done the zip lines or canopy tours, the less touristy options have really proven to be worth it.

Additional perks to being here have included abundant and terrific coffee, passing Sophia Koessel in a taxi the other day, getting plans together for the rest of our trip, and perhaps best of all, doing LAUNDRY!

As the days dwindle towards my flight back home, i’m beginning to consider all the things that have become so comfortable and second nature to me here…and how thats all going to be different when I fly back into the US of A. But for now, i’m still here in the land of ticos and casados, and enjoying every moment.

Much love!!